


Running Up That Hill

by bookwormywriter



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Biblical Allusions (Abrahamic Religions), Blasphemy, Dark Fantasy, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Fallen Angel Gabriel (Supernatural), Fallen Angels, M/M, Originally Posted on LiveJournal, Pseudo-Incest, Religion, Unhappy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-26
Updated: 2020-04-26
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:09:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23863558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bookwormywriter/pseuds/bookwormywriter
Summary: There was a time before the Fall that Gabriel and Lucifer were happy. After a long period of deliberation and waiting, Gabriel finally picks a side.
Relationships: Gabriel/Lucifer (Supernatural), Gabriel/Sam Winchester
Comments: 4
Kudos: 26





	1. The Past

**Author's Note:**

  * For [entanglednow](https://archiveofourown.org/users/entanglednow/gifts).



> This was originally published in 2010 on LiveJournal and therefore does not reflect later seasons of Supernatural. This story contains strong allusions toward religious ideology and morality. This story is an exploration of good and evil. It is not always comfortable at times. This is also a reflection of war and what it can do.

Now war arose in Heaven, Michael and his angels fighting against the dragon; and the dragon and his angels fought, but they were defeated and there was no longer any place for them in heaven. And the great dragon was thrown down, that ancient serpent, who is called the Devil and Satan, the deceiver of the whole world - he was thrown down to the earth, and his angels were thrown down with him. ~ Revelation 12:7-9

Heaven, contrary to popular belief, was not endless fields of clouds going on forever, it was not a meadow, or a garden or simple vastness. It was a complexity that encased all things and time into a never ending vacuum of space and time and being. It had all of those things clouds and meadows and gardens, but it had so much more, vast stretches of nothing, or light, a wide kingdom in which all of the Heavenly bodies could take their existence to simply _be_.

Angels as well, were far more complicated than anything. They could opt to be pillars of fire and of light like the Seraphim and Ophanim that surrounded God, they could fold themselves into a human form, glowing with all greatness that their Father meant for them, or they could simply be nothingness and everything - pulsating in the pure Creation of Heaven. Angels loved, and mingled, and **were**. There was a hierarchy, not rigid like the Kingdoms of Man would one day be, but a fluid, all-loving structure that flowed with endless compassion, kindness and love. An angel could be a Cherub and a Seraph and a Principality. Not all at once, but it was simple enough to move between the ranks, as it were. This would change later, once structure was needed, to dull the pain of loss. There were four, however, who were static in their being, ineffable in their love for their Father and their ability, amongst all of the Heavenly Beings, to see His true face and know His true name.

Mikhael, Raphael, Gabriel and Lucifer.

Gabriel, the youngest of the four, was Lucifer's sole object of affection and time. Aside from their Father, of course. Lucifer took his time in approaching Gabriel, wishing to court him properly. The Morningstar was the brightest, most beautiful of their Father's creation, he easily could have had the pick of any of the angels, but he set his sights on Gabriel, his baby brother, the one to whom he thought he could be the most beneficial.

Gabriel was reclining in a clearing, amongst flowers and rolling hills of grass. He was beautiful, they were all beautiful, but Gabriel, to Lucifer, was the most beautiful thing that could have existed. He was folded into a form, lithe and willowy, with piercing, crystal blue eyes and white-blond hair. His attire was simple, a wrap of white about his waist, the rest of his form freed from obstruction, a pair of wings curled around his form as he watched the trees dance in the wind. His eyes turned as Lucifer approached and he pushed himself up in greeting, smiling in welcome. Lucifer too, had folded himself into a form, with long, red hair, flowing freely down his body, moving with the simple, gentle breezes. His eyes, like Gabriel's were blue, and his skin a slight gold, more tanned than his brother who was lily-white. Lucifer circled Gabriel once, before sitting above his left shoulder on the hill, looking out over the expanse.

"You have been gone a while, brother." Gabriel never rose his eyes from the lake which ribboned through the meadow and the trees beyond. "Where were you?"

"With Father, he wished to show me Earth. It is beautiful. Like here, but different..."

"Yes." Gabriel turned his head, shifting as he ever-so-slightly brushed his fingers over Lucifer's calf. "He says we are to be guardians over that realm."

"For what?" Lucifer asked, his voice dancing a little on the wind, his eyes matching Gabriel's as his mouth curved. "For the animals he will set upon it?"

"I suppose. What else would he put upon it?"

Silence fell, comfortable and warm, as Gabriel stood, stretching his wings out, curling his toes into the grass. Lucifer watched as he laid back, his hands pillowed behind his head as he stared up into the mesh of colours above him. He shifted his head when Gabriel moved, sitting at his crossed ankles, his feet just at level with Gabriel's right shoulder. Lucifer smiled, his hair whipping about his head as he pushed up on his elbows and let his fingers float over the edge of Gabriel's wings. Gabriel turned his head, his mouth falling open to speak, he closed it after a moment, a smile coming over his face. Lucifer returned it, his smiling growing when the tips of Gabriel's fingers tentatively touched his own, before they slid to tangle together.

* * *

"How did you do it?!" Mikhael hissed, his eyes narrow at the two archangels before him. Lucifer lounging smug and comfortable on a plush couch and Gabriel sitting at his feet, head resting lazily against Lucifer's knee.

They had bonded quickly, their Father's love for their joining unending. Mikhael, however, was unhappy. An emotion that shocked Gabriel, who, up to this point, had seemed to have a pleasant relationship with his oldest brother.

The angels had gathered about them, all gazing in awe at the two who merely smiled and thanked their brothers and sisters for their kindness. They had created a fledgling. The bundle of sound and light sang about Gabriel, it's colours dancing about the air. Mikhael glared at it in disdain, a look Gabriel had not recognized until Lucifer described it to him. Gabriel didn't like it. It made him feel protective of the fledge and of his bond with Lucifer. 

"Have you named it yet, brother?" The Metatron asked, his dark eyes gazing joyfully at the newest member of their family.

Lucifer's fingers tangled into Gabriel's hair when Gabriel rose his eyes to him, silently asking. Lucifer smiled, the look so pleasant on his peaceful, happy face. His glow had gotten ever brighter, ever more joyous since joining with Gabriel, even moreso with the fledgling. Gabriel's eyes turned to the smear of light and sound that encompassed the group before it folded into existence; unruly auburn hair fell to its shoulders, a slight, delicate face with an angular jaw and full mouth with wide, innocent blue eyes stared out at everyone from beside its guardians. 

"We've named it Azrael."

* * *

"Have you seen them?"

Gabriel looked over to his soul's partner, rising from the couch as Lucifer grew closer, his face hard and angered.

"What?"

"The beings on Earth."

"The humans?"

Lucifer's lip curled at the word and he dropped to Gabriel's right side, his position and demeanor showing he would fight for his mate. However, Gabriel saw no reason to fight.

"Lucifer..?"

"He wants us to bow to them."

Gabriel drew his head from Lucifer's shoulder to look at his face. He drew a hand up, sliding his fingers over the taut lines, his brow furrowing. "You are angry."

"Mikhael bowed. Without a thought."

"We bow to one another all the time. It is a sign of respect..."

Lucifer drew his eyes from Gabriel's curious ones, shutting them briefly. "Father is asking us to love them more than Him. More than anyone. How can I do that? Brother... How can I love anyone, anything more than you? More than Father?" Lucifer swallowed and let out a shaky breath. Tears, crystalline and beautiful, fell from his eyes. "I cannot." He seized Gabriel about the shoulders, so roughly Gabriel made a noise of discomfort, his own hands resting against Lucifer's chest helplessly.

"Brother... If it is Father's will..."

Lucifer's forehead pressed to Gabriel's, their eyes locked. Lucifer's hot, defiant and sad. Gabriel's confused, sad and fearful. "I cannot." Lucifer drew in a breath, sharp and quick. "They are flawed, Gabriel. Imperfect. Unlike you. Unlike Him. I cannot love them as I love you. Do not ask it of me."

Gabriel raised a hand to Lucifer's cheek, pressed it against the silk-soft flesh, felt it pulse beneath his hand, hot and wet with tears. "I do not understand, Lucifer, I-"

Their mouths were crushed together, desperate and needy as Lucifer gripped him close, so close it hurt. Nothing had ever hurt before. When they pulled apart Lucifer nuzzled against him.

"I will talk with Father, beloved. It will be alright. He will understand."

Gabriel nodded curtly. Sensible. That was Lucifer. "He will understand... He will understand..."

Lucifer pulled away quickly, leaving him grasping at nothing. Gabriel watched as his brother unfurled his wings and with a great flap, took to see their Father.

Gabriel fell limply to the couch. His arms curled about himself as he reclined. His voice small when he spoke softly to himself. "He will understand."

* * *

The battle waged on. Lucifer had angered their Father. The skies had turned black and Gabriel had run. Run so far and so fast. He hid, from everyone, everything.

Mikhael was going to cast Lucifer out. What was he supposed to do?

He slid into the forests far beyond their Father's palace, hoping never to be found. To just fade, as his heart began to die.

"I knew I would find you here."

Gabriel turned, seeing Azrael standing in the clearing that Gabriel used so often for solace. His fledge, his child... who had grown so wise. Gabriel fell to his knees and sobbed. "What do I do?"

"Fight with us."

Gabriel looked as Azrael held out a lance which glinted in the lightning that crackled from above. Gabriel's hand shook as he closed it around the weapon. As soon as he had Azrael grabbed hold of him and flew. When they landed Gabriel saw the carnage, blood, so red, was everywhere. Lucifer crawled through a field of snow, red trailing behind him. Gabriel flung the weapon away and ran to his side, stooping to his knees, gathering his mate into his shaking arms.

"Mikhael, he..." Lucifer started before Gabriel hushed him, stroking his wet, sticky cheek, blood caked everything.

"What does he want?"

"To cast me out. Away from you..." Lucifer's bloodstained hands left sticky, red prints on Gabriel's arms and cheeks. "I love you..."

"I know... I love you too..." Gabriel rose his eyes, looking to Azrael who was fighting with Uriel and Raphael, trying to keep them at bay. "I can't lose you."

"You won't, stay with me. Fight with me. I --" Lucifer's words fell short when Gabriel was drawn from his hands and flung from him, far into the snow.

Mikhael towered over Lucifer, sneering, he kicked him hard, sending him painfully onto his wings. He slashed down quick, sending more blood over the snow. He grabbed Lucifer by the hair, dragging him towards the cliff they fought upon. Gabriel screamed, pulling himself up, he was taken down by Anael, who he grappled with, desperate. Kicking him off, Gabriel ran towards Lucifer who was balanced on the tip of the cliff which spiraled into the Abyss. Mikhael turned when Gabriel screamed a loud, incomprehensible noise of pleading grief, his eyes were hard and a smirk grazed his face as, with one hand, he shoved. Gabriel cried out and launched forward, hitting the ground hard, his hands outstretched to grab the other half of his soul. Fingertips brushed along his own and he curled, hopeful, before his hands closed around air and he was staring into the black expanse of nothing as Raphael grabbed his leg and dragged him screaming from the edge.

* * *

Azrael had been cast out. So had countless others who had sided with his beloved - Remiel, Azazel, Samael... They were all gone, leaving a gaping wound in his soul. For some reason, he had been spared. He hadn't wanted it. He had begged to be cast down, but his Father, according to Mikhael, in his mercy, had spared him.

His life was a hollow echo of despair and grief. He walked through shadows of love and comfort, empty halls that had once been filled with love and so much compassion. His innocence shattered and exposed for all to see. He garnered pity when those who knew looked upon him, and confusion by those who knew nothing. 

Gabriel looked through the pools of wide, expansive glass that gazed down upon the Earth, he watched as humanity rotted and fell from the hopeful perfection their Father wanted. Just as Lucifer predicted. As empires rose and fell. As people bled, and laughed, and stank, and knew nothing of greatness - of love - of anything. One day, the despair engulfed him whole, as Gabriel watched over the glass, so perfect, unlike the reflection it gave.

His Grace exploded out of him, raw and powerful and painful. He leaped, shattering through the shards of great, wholesome perfection and tumbled down. He burned, and bled and _ached_. The ground was hard, when he crashed into it, through it. As he drew himself from the crater he had made, he glanced upon the world his father loved so much.

People gathered around him, weak, and vile, and in need of judgment and guidance. Their skin was dark, their bodies weathered to cope with the hot sun and the desert they inhabited. They spoke and he understood their rough, confused tongue. They called him a gift, an answer to their prayers. He laughed, bitter and angry at their stupidity. His greatness had folded into a form like theirs, looking human but so much more. They called him Set, god of chaos, of mischievous things, darkness and storms.

Those who were wicked, he punished.

Judgment and vengeance and anger.

It lessened the pain. If only for a moment.


	2. Present

The Messenger of God saw Gabriel in his true form. He had six hundred wings, each of which covered the horizon. There fell from his wings jewels, pearls and rubies, only God knows about them. ~ Sahih al-Bukhari (8/610, Hadith no. 4856, 4857) 

Gabriel woke encased in warmth. His face pressed against damp, hot skin. He stirred, slowly pushing himself up to glance around the room. He looked down beside him to Sam who was still sound asleep. Sam, his lover, his echo. So like Lucifer in so many ways, so different, so _human_ in others. Sam who had made him remember who he was and how much it hurt. The boy king who understood nothing, but smiled and kissed and felt so alive.

Gabriel slid from the bed, he pulled on his jeans and crossed to the window, looking out over the city. He could feel Castiel in the room beside them, he was unmoving, likely transfixed by Dean. So much had changed, the invention and destruction of so much had passed in the blink of an eye. His brothers, his fledge, his lover trapped for eternities below him.

Until he wasn't.

He felt it the moment he burst through. Like light into what little soul he had left. Warm and vibrant. He had run, flew, across the world, trying to piece back together what little angelhood he had left. He got to Ilchester, Maryland as fast as he could, everything in him singing - alive. He followed the tendrils of withered Grace to the chapel, destroyed and empty. He sagged against the walls, coldness filling him, fighting down the warmth of the presence of his mate on Earth. There was a spike, hot and sharp, far away, he was off in a second. He got to the house too late, the vessel gone, the presence withered.

Gabriel had vanished and drowned his sorrows in vengeance.

Sighing, watching in fascination as the condensation spread over the glass, Gabriel traced out the Enochian of Lucifer's name and encircled it in a heart before wiping it away furiously. He was acting like a fledgling again, doe eyed and sprawled on the grass beside Lucifer.

"Gabriel?" Gabriel turned and watched as Sam pushed himself up on one arm and stole a glance at the clock. "It's three in the morning, come back to bed."

Gabriel gave a terse smile and turned from his post at the window, sliding back into bed beside Sam and fitting him easily into his arms. Sam sighed, sleepy and romantic tenancies muddling through his brain. His fingers curled over the waist of Gabriel's jeans and he smoothed his hands over the flawless panel of stomach under his fingers making Gabriel twitch, just slightly.

"Go back to sleep, kiddo."

"'M not tired," Sam countered as he yawned. "Tell me more about your life... Did you ever have any kids?"

Gabriel's smile fell, his mouth twisting in discomfort. "Angels don't have children. Fledglings are made by a union between two angels and a covenant with God to raise it."

"Well... Did you have any?"

"One. Azrael."

Sam lifted his head off of Gabriel's chest, looking at him in sleepy confusion. "The fallen one? Why did your fledgling fall?"

Gabriel inhaled sharply and turned his head away. Sam murmured a quiet apology and pillowed his head back on Gabriel's chest, fingers drawing lazy patterns over the skin, his breathing slowing as he lulled to sleep.

"D'you..." Sam mumbled. "D'you ever miss him?"

Gabriel curled his fingers at the base of Sam's neck, hair threading over and under the digits. "Go to sleep, Sammy."

Sam slept.

***

_People gathered on the side of the road, looking on in horror and shock at the girl who lay broken in the middle of the road. Her bike a crumpled heap less than twenty feet from her and the groceries she had bought strewn wildly over the asphalt. Sirens sounded in the distance, but Gabriel knew, even know, that the girl was dead. He waited, looking for the familiar man in a prim black suit to step out from the crowd and take her. Instead a punkish boy, with vibrantly blue hair, dressed in long black shorts, skate shoes and a band shirt shouldered his way through the crowd._

_The girl's spirit rose from her body and she looked down at herself in shock before crossing her arms about her in comfort. The boy strode towards her and for a moment Gabriel wondered if he should stop him, embarrass himself like a fool, dressed in the slight woman's form he was using to track down a bastard CEO. Instead he watched, wondering why no one made a move._

_The boy looked like he belonged in a metal concert, thrashing around and smoking pot. Not this..._

_He stopped at the body, the girl and he spoke for a moment and she tried to plead with him, he heard faint gasps of 'no, my mom' but the boy was having none of it. Instead, he offered a hand, tentatively the girl took it, sobbing as she was pulled against his form. Gabriel's mouth fell open when large, arching grey wings curled out from the boy's back and a simple drab brown cloak draped down his form. His hooded head hung down her shoulder and he pressed his chin to the bone. He hugged her tight and his wings enfolded them both. A blackness crept, even darker than the asphalt, under his bare feet, for a moment everything was still and Gabriel sucked in a breath, before there was a downward flicker and they were gone._

_"Are you alright, dear?"_

_Gabriel's head snapped to the elderly woman beside him and then he looked back out to the empty ring of road. "I..."_

_"You look like you're going to faint."_

_"I'm alright."_

_Gabriel lowered a hand he hadn't even realized he had outstretched towards the boy - the one no one else saw._

_Azrael._

***

Gabriel walked out of the bathroom towel drying his hair, he gave a faint smile when Sam slid up behind him and kissed his neck.

"You smell good."

"I smell like passion fruit and mango."

Sam's mouth moved over Gabriel's neck as he grinned against the skin. "It smells good."

"You're in a frisky mood tonight, you must have been at the library..."

Sam laughed and turned Gabriel in his arms, his fingers skimming down Gabriel's spine and up over his shoulders. Gabriel stiffened and took hold of Sam's wrists and placed Sam's hands on his hips.

"What have we said about naughty touching?"

Sam put on a thoughtful face as Gabriel backed him into the bed and straddled his waist, his fingers burying into Sam's hair. Sam pressed his mouth to Gabriel's chest in a few short pecks before grazing his teeth over Gabriel's collar bone.

"But you like naughty touching. You're a big fan of the touching that is naughty," Sam breathed against Gabriel's shoulder. His hands slid up Gabriel's hips and over his shoulders, gripping against the firm muscle and bone wickedly.

Gabriel tore away, standing in a huff and leaving Sam sprawled back on the bed. "I said no, Sam."

Nobody got to touch his wing ridges. Nobody except Lucifer.

"I'm sorry Gabriel, I thought maybe you'd like it."

"Well I don't!"

Gabriel grabbed a shirt and pulled it on before turning and vanishing, leaving Sam gaping at air.

***

"Hey, Cas..?"

Castiel rose his head from the book he was reading and looked over at Sam. "Yes?"

"Can I talk to you about something?"

Castiel set the book aside and focused on Sam, giving him his undivided attention. "Of course."

Sam glanced around for Dean, who was out on a food run. "It's about Gabriel." Castiel merely tilted his head in curiosity. "He says he had a fledgling once."

"That is entirely possible, Sam. Many angels have fledglings."

Sam nodded and swallowed thickly, fisting his hands in his jeans. "Well... I'm assuming you need two angels to make a fledgling, right?"

"It isn't like intercourse, Sam, but yes. Why?"

"Um..." Sam brushed a hand through his hair. "Does that mean he's married?"

"I..." Castiel's brow furrowed in confusion. "I do not think so. Many angels lost their mates in The War..."

"War?"

"With Lucifer."

"Oh. Right. So... Gabriel was mated before The War?"

"I would assume so, he left after it, it is only logical he had no ties in Heaven so his fledge and his mate must have died."

"That's the thing, Cas... He said his fledgling's name was Azrael... Isn't he the Angel of Death, a fallen angel?"

"Azrael?" Castiel repeated, a frown turning his lips. "That is impossible, Azrael is --"

"I'm back!"

Sam's head whipped around to look at Dean who was balancing a box of food in his arms. Sam looked back at Castiel, who was busy reading the book, as if he had never been interrupted. As Dean rambled on and on about the waitress at the diner, Sam sunk lower in his chair and wondered what the fuck was going on.

***

Sam stirred awake at the sound of muffled arguing. Chancing a look at the clock, he groaned when it displayed 3:44 and rolled back over, pulling a pillow over his head and tried to drown out the sounds from outside.

"--why you are with Samuel Winchester?"

"It's over, Castiel!"

Sam pulled his head out from under the pillow, Gabriel? Pulling himself out of bed slowly, Sam crept over to the cracked window and listened.

"He Fell, that was the end of it."

"Samuel has the right to know who your soulmate is."

"Soulmate? What are you, twelve? I learned a long time ago that there's no such thing. He left me. Left us. I loved him! I loved him with everything I had and more! We had a fledgling together, Castiel! Do you know how many pairs are graced with a fledgling with a purpose as important as Azrael's!?"

"Important purpose?! He drags souls down to Hell!"

"It's his _job_!"

"If he hadn't rebelled he would be delivering souls to Paradise!"

There was a sound of scuffling before Sam saw as Castiel was slammed against the nearby brick wall. "You don't understand anything, do you? I was there. I was there when they were all cast out. When my soul was ripped to pieces and I was left alone. I was there when Mikhael cast him down into the Pit before my eyes, smirking like the bastard he is! I ran, Castiel, I ran so fast. I flung myself down for him, desperately tried to grab him. He Fell, Castiel. He Fell so far from me... He's gone."

Castiel fell silent and lowered his eyes from Gabriel's defiant, saddened, tear-stained face. "I'm sorry, Gabriel."

Gabriel backed away from Castiel, lowering his arms and his head in defeat. "Yeah. So am I."

"Is that why you are with Samuel? To get him to say yes?"

"He isn't going to say yes. Me telling him my woes of eons past won't change a thing. I just have to live, Castiel. Live and watch them tear each other apart. Watch them cast him down all over again..."

Castiel slid a hand over Gabriel's shoulder in comfort until Gabriel shook him off. "Do you still love him, Gabriel? Do you still love the Morningstar?"

Gabriel said nothing, instead snapped his fingers and vanished. Sam sagged against the wall and sunk to the floor. Lucifer. Lucifer had been Gabriel's mate.

What the hell was he supposed to do?

***

Sam grunted when his hips were pulled up further, his legs slinging around Gabriel's waist with ease. The dishwater blond had his face buried in Sam's chest, teeth grazing over the sweat damp skin, tonguing the beads that rolled down. Sam tangled a hand into Gabriel's hair, tugging on it roughly, pulling his head back to look into his wild, defiant eyes and kissed him, hard and needy. Sam knew he couldn't replace him - _Lucifer_ but he could try.

Gasping, Sam trembled, trying to fight the inevitable. With a snarl and a rough push from Gabriel, however, Sam's head thudded back against the headboard and he was coming. Moments later with gritted teeth Gabriel pushed up hard and was coming. They fell loose and messy against the bed and Sam laughed, giddy with his orgasmic high. He pressed his face to Gabriel's shoulder and slung a leg around him, pulling him close, possessively.

"Mine."

Gabriel gave a thin smile and played a moment with Sam's hair. "I'm mine, Sammy."

Sam nuzzled against Gabriel a moment, kissing him languidly, pulling away, smiling, all lazy and sated. "I love you."

Before Sam could even blink Gabriel was gone, leaving him alone, sweat-dampened and feeling like a fool.

***

Days and then a week passed without seeing Gabriel. Sam knew he was still looking out for him though. Every so often he would wake to find candy wrappers at the foot of his bed, or to find a new, helpful book on some life threatening situation in his bag. He and Castiel never spoke about it, and if Castiel knew why Gabriel had vanished, he wasn't saying a word.

Sam laid awake in bed at night, feeling like the world's biggest idiot.

He couldn't be with Gabriel - Gabriel who had chosen him in the convoluted hopes that he would say yes. Gabriel who had the chance to run off and be with Lucifer at any time, but instead stayed with him. It made no sense.

If Gabriel had told him the truth he knew he wouldn't have ever said yes. But Gabriel hadn't told him, even for a moment's hope, and that was what confused Sam the most. Why?

Was it because he was the true vessel? Was it some perverse way of being with Lucifer while not being with him? Did he have Lucifer like qualities? Or did Gabriel love him for being him? Did Gabriel love him at all?

Sam heard the door in the other room shut and he crept across the hall and snuck inside. Castiel was prodding at a pile of twinkies on the table and looked up when Sam walked in. He averted his eyes and Sam sighed. This was going to be a fun conversation...

"Do you know where Gabriel is?"

"No."

"Do you know why he left?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

Castiel looked up from the golden brown snack food and peered at Sam, tilted his head a moment and studied him. "He is... unhappy."

"With me?"

"He would not say. He just said he needed space."

Sam nodded and strode out of the room.

Re-entering his room, Sam shut the door and locked it and then put on the chain. He removed his shirt and his boots and padded through the room barefoot and dressed in his worn jeans. He ran his hands through his hair, pacing until he was sure he would drop right through the floor. He thought about grabbing his things and running, just giving up on the whole apocalypse; about using magic to summon Gabriel; about screaming until his throat was raw and he had nothing left in him to give.

But he did have something to give. A whole body. A body which could be used to make Gabriel happy. That's all he wanted, right? To make Gabriel happy?

Sam sat on the edge of the bed, bouncing his leg anxiously, before standing up and resuming his pacing. He took one of his notebooks and flipped it open to a blank page. He tapped the pen against the booklet in frustration before flinging it across the room and tossing the notebook aside.

He wanted to run screaming off the balcony. To take the nearest gun from his bag and just end it. To rip at his flesh until all he had was exposed and bleeding out for the world to see.

He got up and walked over to the window, pressing his hands against the glass and staring down at the world below. The world which despite all its bullshit was still something beautiful and ignorantly blissful. His fingers slid down the glass, making quiet noise when he scraped his nails against the frame.

Sam closed his eyes and let his forehead rest against the cool, smooth glass. He let the tension fall from his body and simply felt everything; the oddly soft, warm carpet beneath his feet, the cold, refreshing glass against his body. He heard the faint noise of cars and talk from outside and the dull noise of the TV next door.

"Yes."


	3. Future?

...and the lower regions and the perdition therein, the Abyss and its torments. I saw there the sea and its islands, and its monsters and its fishes, and Leviathan and his dominion, and his camping-ground, and his caves, and the world which lay upon him, and his movements, and the destructions of the world on his account. I saw there streams and the rising of their waters, and their windings. And I saw there the Garden of Eden and its fruits, the source of the stream issuing from it, and its trees and their bloom, and those who behaved righteously. ~ The Apocalypse of Abraham (Chapter XXI.).

Gabriel had felt it, hot and quick, searing like a stab through his whole essence when Lucifer tore free of his old vessel and settled into the new. He was off in an instant, appearing where the power had settled, the hotel. He took in the familiar form of Sam Winchester resting against the glass, his body shifted this way and that, muscles rippling under flesh, adjusting and settling. Then he turned, his eyes settled onto Gabriel, a mixture of angel and demi-god stitched together and bleeding open power under the watchful eyes of the Morningstar. Sam's lips that weren't his quirked, quirked in a way that was so not Sam and was so very Lucifer.

"Interesting."

They circled each other, weary and curious, eyes ever watchful.

"You've changed," Lucifer breathed, the warm liquid of his voice soothing over Gabriel's frayed nerves like chocolate. "Not quite the innocent, wide-eyed archangel I met in a meadow. Still..." Lucifer's eyes flicked up and down Gabriel's form. "I like it."

"I adapted," Gabriel countered, hot and defensive. He settled when Lucifer continued and tilted his head back slightly in amusement and weary comfort. "You're different too. Taller..."

Lucifer grinned, a flash of white in the almost too dark room. "Yes, well, you should have seen my make shift vessel. In the end he wasn't holding up too well."

"Only you would make morbid jokes."

"Flattery, dear heart, it suits you well."

They stopped circling and Gabriel noticed just then, that Lucifer was barefoot, his toes curled into the plush of the cheap carpet. They weren't far apart, not much more than arm's length, and in the back of his mind, Gabriel barely registered that neither Dean nor Castiel was busting down the door. He took his time in approaching Lucifer, tiny footsteps until he was close enough he could breathe in the remnants of Sam's cologne and the shampoo he had used that morning. Remnants which smelled slightly burnt, just a little, not enough that anyone would really notice. There was no scent of sulphur or smoke, just ozone, cologne and synthetic oranges.

Lucifer looked down at him, his hands smoothing over Gabriel's shoulders and down his spine, electric and too long missed. It was odd, trying to get close in spatially confined forms, touching was good, but it wasn't enough. Gabriel reached up, a hand tracing along the defined cheekbones and sculpted nose that were Lucifer's alone now; exploring a body he knew all too well but not at all. His fingers curled into the hair at the base of Lucifer's neck and he pulled him down, nuzzling and remembering.

"Little brother..."

Gabriel pressed his fingers to Lucifer's mouth, silencing him. "Just kiss me."

Lucifer gave no verbal reply but quirked his brow in question, clearly not understanding the term. At that, Gabriel had to grin, kissing was a human word, it had no semblance of meaning with angels. With angels it was all wings and Grace and energy. He pressed his mouth, hungry and needy, to Lucifer's. Lucifer's hands curled at the base of his spine and pulled him closer. Gabriel inhaled sharply at the kiss that was so different from what he remembered, but so comforting. He melted into the embrace as familiar but tattered Grace he had gone so long without surrounded him.

***

Gabriel lay curled against Lucifer, eyes barely open, as they fitted together on an opulent high backed creme coloured chaise lounge. It was in a rather well to do condo in New York city, because of course, being the brightest meant that the Morningstar needed the best. The ache that had filled him since the Fall was slowly being soothed away as Lucifer stroked down his bare back and side and kissed over the slope of his shoulder. Nothing mattered but them and this. If God had cared so much about his children he would have let Gabriel join Lucifer eons ago instead of being a distant, useless fuck.

"I have a present for you."

Gabriel cracked an eye open, tipping his head back to look at the serene, thoughtful face of Lucifer. "Is it chocolate?"

"I don't know why you're so obsessed with that confection."

"Being a Trickster has its vices."

Lucifer peered down at Gabriel and pressed a few open mouthed kisses along his jaw and neck. "You know how I feel about those."

Gabriel shivered. "I'm guessing you feel approving."

" _Very_." Lucifer scraped his teeth over Gabriel's jaw a minute before pulling back. "No. It isn't chocolate."

"I swear if it's a puppy I'm going to have to rethink this relationship."

Lucifer extended his hands out, a box appearing, cupped gently in them. Gabriel twisted a little, reaching out to take the box and looking at Lucifer in question.

"Open it."

Lifting the lid, Gabriel blinked at the black titanium band with the pink sapphire in the band. He looked back to Lucifer. "You bought me a ring?"

"Well... Customs dictate that's what one human does to show his claim on a potential mate."

"Well, yes... but..."

"I want every human to know that you're mine."

Gabriel watched as Lucifer extracted the ring from he box and took his left hand, sliding it effortlessly onto his ring finger. Gabriel curled his hand, examining the ring. "You're a big romantic, aren't you?"

"I suppose. You do deserve it. You've been loyal to me for so long."

"Damn right."

Lucifer pressed a kiss to Gabriel's mouth, pulling back a moment to study him before kissing him deeply and climbing on top of him possessively.

"Oi!"

Gabriel broke the kiss and hung his head back to look at the red headed woman who had just appeared in the room. She was pretty, maybe 23, her quick exclamation had an Irish intonation and she had fair skin, green eyes and of course ginger red hair. Dressed in a pair of ripped jeans and a white tanktop with a bright red bra underneath.

"You're naked," she observed, looking them both over. Her gaze settled on Lucifer. "Naked. In a new vessel and shaggin' a Trickster."

"You ought to watch your tongue, Azrael."

"Mmm." Gabriel slid up, snapping his fingers to drape a sheet over them, not that he was modest, just that he'd rather not have his flede see him naked. "Last time I saw you it was a blue haired punk rocker. 1987." Gabriel's eyes slid back to Lucifer a moment, a smirk appearing on his lips. "Remember when he used to be _quiet_? Back before we taught him how to speak?"

"I remember. You used to sit at my feet then."

"Picky picky," Gabriel chided, stretching upward, yawning. "Forgive me if I don't fall back into angelic mating ritual and etiquette right away, I was, after all, a Trickster for a few millennia." 

Azrael looked between them a moment, her mouth curling at the familiar, much missed banter. "Nice to see you too, Gabriel."

Gabriel grinned and splayed, then wiggled his fingers. "D'you mind? We were going to..."

"Sorry to interrupt the fuck fest," Azrael drawled, examining her nails. "But I guess you were too wrapped up in one another to notice that Mikhael's taken a vessel."

Gabriel's smile withered.

Shit.

***

"You know..." Gabriel started, dipping his fingers in the lamb's blood to continue writing the sigils. "I don't understand why Sam said yes to you."

"He loved you but he knew he could never make you happy."

Gabriel paused a moment to look back at Lucifer, who was rather drenched in the blood, it was kind of erotic actually, if he had to admit it. "Is he still inside you?"

Lucifer shook his head sharply. "I burned him right out."

Gabriel nodded, it was better that way, he supposed. He knew he had added protection from Mikhael since he had formed his own hiding structure within a Trickster, and was, if need be, capable to use all the resources he had. Lucifer still had the markings on Sam's ribs, and opted to give Gabriel the same, but Gabriel figured with combined Enochian warding magic, Babylonian sealing spells, and their protections, they were pretty well off.

"Done." Gabriel stepped back from the last glyph and drew a bloody arm over his forehead to wipe his hair back. Great. Now he was covered in it.

"Good." Lucifer examined his own handiwork before nodding, the lingering blood drying on his body.

"Should we shower?"

"I suppose we could, I'm rather shocked the Trickster in you isn't aroused by all this innocent blood."

"It is, I'm trying to suppress it."

Lucifer crossed the room, a sticky hand wrapping around one of Gabriel's wrists and pulling him against his body. Gabriel inhaled sharply, his eyes flicking to the blood over Lucifer's body, Lucifer's blood... Lucifer rose two, still dripping fingers to his lips, smearing the precious liquid. His eyes burned into Gabriel's, his mouth quirked in interest as Gabriel's pupils blew wide, pleasure coming off of him in waves.

"Open, baby brother."

Gabriel parted his lips and sucked the digits in, the taste exploded over his tongue and he moaned around his mouthful, pressing against Lucifer. Lucifer slid his fingers from Gabriel's mouth and trailed them down his neck before licking up the mess and claiming Gabriel's mouth. Gabriel whined and let himself be lead towards the couch. He gasped when he was shoved down, Lucifer straddling him. Gabriel tilted his head back, his mouth wet and open, he made a greedy noise in the back of his throat and reached for Lucifer. Lucifer hushed him, stroking over his cheek, his fingers smoothed down Gabriel's shoulders and arms before he gripped tight and let everything in him loose.

Gabriel's eyes widened, the smell of electricity flying through the air, smoke and sulphur, ozone and a wild, raw, smell. Red and black and white. It flew before him before his eyes rolled back and he let everything in his body go. He gave himself wholly to his brother and let himself Fall.

***

It was a calm day when Mikhael found them. Squaring off in traditional mated fighting stance against him - Gabriel to Lucifer's right, slightly behind him. Mikhael in what was once Dean Winchester with Castiel standing off behind him to his right and behind him as well. It had made Lucifer smile, that Mikhael had accepted the once mating between Castiel and Dean, or perhaps it was because he wanted them on even ground.

"You are a fool, Gabriel, siding with this bastard child."

"He was equal with you, Mikhael, if I recall."

Mikhael frowned, his fists clenched. The faithful son who could never accept his awkward, loner brother. "Your union was laughable, disgusting."

"If this is why you summoned me here, Mikhael, I'll be leaving. I have no time to hear your mindless yammering. I have Australia to corrupt."

"I'm curious..." Gabriel breathed, looking at Mikhael. "Why were you always so angry at us?"

"You two never deserved what Father gave you. You took it all and wanted more. Greedy, mewling children."

Lucifer tilted his head, shifting his weight just slightly, intrigued. "Is that jealousy I hear, Mikhael?"

"I cannot feel jealousy."

Gabriel smirked and stepped forward, breaking the stalemate. "Sure you can! What? You think you're too good for a petty emotion like jealousy? Even God is jealous!"

Mikhael's mouth twisted unpleasantly, uncomfortable with the accusation that he was trying to better himself, even over their Father. "Perhaps I was jealous."

"Over what? Our union? Our fledgling?" Lucifer questioned, far too curious for his own good.

"Gabriel," Mikhael breathed, his fists clenched so tight blood dripped through his fingers.

"Me?"

"You had all of the Morningstar's attention. You had his loyalty, his fledge..."

"I offered for you to join me, Mikhael."

"I would never rebel against Father! I am not a corrupted, disgusting thing like you! The both of you!"

Gabriel sneered at Mikhael, breaking from behind Lucifer and taking Mikhael down, clamping around his waist with his knees and punching him hard and repeatedly in the face. "I'm not disgusting! You simple minded, pea brained, ignorant son of a bitch!"

He was pulled off and flung away by Castiel and hit the ground hard, choking on dust and climbed up, smirking in grim satisfaction at the blood that coated Mikhael's face. Mikhael spat blood, drawing an arm across his face and flung a hand to the side which moments later was holding a sharp, heavy sword. Lucifer's lip curled, a sleek, powerful trident appearing in his hands as he and Mikhael took fighting stances. Gabriel's fists clenched and he looked to Castiel, who looked back, they were both still, watching.

The world hung still and silent before Mikhael kicked up dirt and charged at Lucifer.

***

Gabriel gasped as he hit the ground hard, staring up at the blackened sky. Lucifer slunk over him, slow and predatory, taking his time in journeying up his body. The desert was soiled with blood and charred beyond recognition. Azrael had dragged Castiel into the Pit, surprising everyone at his sudden claim over the withered, Falling soul that was Castiel. Mikhael had been harder, the battle had waged on for days, searing a black and red line of blood and ash through almost the entirety of the Holy Land. He had been flung down in Judea. He had gone screaming into the Pit, his Grace exploded, killing hundreds of innocents in the town as it was dragged, slowly rotting, down. Now Gabriel and Lucifer lay among the tattered ruins, caked with blood and soot, some still burning, some still dying.

Lucifer licked a line up Gabriel's neck, breathing him in and smiling at him ferally. Gabriel took hold of his hair and yanked him into a biting kiss. They fought for dominance until Gabriel submitted, Lucifer teeth clamping down on his lower lip and splitting it open.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

Gabriel let himself be rolled, straddling Lucifer's hips and undulating as the skies turned red and fire rained down.


End file.
